Recently I wrote a short story that ended up being just over two thousand words. I wrote the story as a potential post for my site thinking that I should post more content here. I mean obviously I need more content if I ever want to attract people, but I struggle with what kind of content to post. I don’t do politics or religion because you people don’t need to know any of that about me. If you want to know, I’ll tell you in person so I can punch you when you start to correct me. I’d really want this site to be about my progress from dreamer to not-quite-a-dreamer to writer, but I have to write more to do that. Maybe I should post about having no discipline. I’m an expert on that.
The next day I edited the story down to just under 1500 words which seems to be the magic number for contest submissions. I was thinking I might enter the story in the most recent Writer’s Digest short story competition, but I didn’t. Part of me says that I don’t want to be the kind of writer that just writes stuff for competitions, but another part of me asks why not? Mostly I think I’m scared and unsure of myself. I’m unsure of what I want to do and where I want to go. What do I want to do with this craft? Really?
I’m not scared of rejection so much as I’m scared I’ll make the wrong choice and screw up the rest of my journey because I took the low road instead of the high road. Or Hell, what if I think I’m taking one of those roads, but in reality I’m taking the other? To say it frustrates and tires me to run in these circles is an understatement.
Ok so it’s has been a few days since I started this post, AND I have to say I’m slightly tipsy again, almost drunk. It might be that I like bourbon, and it might be that I like being tipsy. Regardless, I feel like, “You know what? F’k how things are usually done. I’m going to do things MY way. And that means giving away some cool stuff for a while at least. So what if I lose out on first publication rights to some of my stuff? I’m a new writer with some (I think) interesting stories. So if people find them for free on my website verses some contest I (probably didn’t) won, then so be it. Screw you Dave Farland! I’m doing my own thing!” (Not really Dave. I love you. I really enjoyed the class I’ve taken from you and I hope to do it again. But in reality. I have NO confidence in myself. So I’m going to build a readership for free first. Then maybe I’ll do a collection of short stories … maybe in a Kickstarter … maybe as a vanity thing, who knows?!)
So anyway, there I am. I make the BEST decisions while tipsy or drunk. OK, that’s not necessarily true, but I do make decisions, which is something I do NOT do sober. So almost immediately following this post, I’ll schedule for release on Saturday a post about my half ogre monk, Draug. He has trouble counting. It’s a fun fantasy story told from the point of view of someone with a slightly less than average IQ. Then later, I’m going to post a story about Tenten, a Lizardman monk (I like monks) in a different fantasy world, who helps a peck (halfling – kinder – hobbit) find her baby. “River gods stole my baby!”
Hahahaha. As indicated, that made me laugh. I crack me up, luckily I’m not made of ceramic.
I REALLY have to stop drinking and do something else.
Thanks folks, this has been fun.
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